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Same-Sex Weddings

Flowers  and candles check. Beautiful china check. The perfect wedding DJ check. An incredible photographer check. Two tuxedos two gowns check.

Planning a wedding if you are gay or lesbian is essentially the same as planning any other wedding, except that there are a few small differences, mostly regarding legalities and etiquette. Besides referring to the tips in this guide, also be sure to take advantage of some of the many guides about wedding planning, such as Budgeting, Ceremony and Reception Decorations, Hiring Vendors, and Honeymoon Planning.

Planning 101

The first things that you'll have to do are decide on a place and a date. Choosing the date is usually easiest since it only has to do with your budget and the availability of the vendors and wedding sites. As far as choosing the location, this might be more difficult. If you can make a trip to Massachusetts, Canada, Belgium, the Netherlands, or Spain, then by all means, go for it. Consider it a mini-vacation or a destination wedding. If not, remember that there is another option: a commitment ceremony that you can perform closer to wherever you call home.

What Is a Commitment Ceremony?

Commitment ceremonies are a very popular way to celebrate your love and union with all your friends and family, and often, it is the only choice for some couples who aren't able to take the trip to somewhere that will legally marry them. Basically, it's just like a regular wedding ceremony except that your union is not made legal. The ceremony can be civil or religious depending on what you want. The point is to enjoy yourself and feel comfortable with your choices.

Technically, a commitment ceremony is like any other ceremony. You have a processional, readings, reciting of vows, an exchange of rings, the proclamation of marriage, the kiss, and the recessional. Of course, you can tailor the ceremony to your preferences to include rituals or special touches that you find fitting to your relationship.

Want information on how to choose an officiant?

Wedding Style and Attire

Feel free to make your wedding as lavish or as casual as you like. Remember that there are no rules. You can make things very formal and elegant or you can keep things laid back. The catch is to make sure that you pick how formal you want the wedding to be and that you make the rest of your decisions based on that. Otherwise, things will look out of place.

When it comes to attire, it's the same as the decorations. Choose what makes you feel comfortable. For traditionalists, maybe you want matching tuxedos  or gowns for others, maybe you want to change it up Check out some of the many guides that might help you choose a tone and style for your big day

Color Schemes

Ceremony Decorations

Wedding Themes

Formal Weddings

Reception Decorations

External Links

  • American Ethical Union -- Humanist officiants are often willing to perform same-sex marriages. Check out the Web site for more information.
  • Gay Rites.net -- A page dedicated to links for lesbian resources. The site also has a lot of other useful information for both gays and lesbians.
  • Outinvites.com -- Invitations that cater to same-sex couples.
  • TheKnot.com -- Besides oodles of great planning advice, here's an article with tips on how to make your wedding work.

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