Bachelorette Parties

While they were once thought of as simply a female alternative to a raunchy night of strippers  and booze, bachelorette parties  are becoming increasingly popular because they don't just have to revolve around activities that will turn a happy couple into a feuding one. Of course, the old tradition of throwing in some phallic paraphernalia  is usually in order, such as straws,  gummies,  earrings,  inflatable items,  cakes,  vibrators,  or a condom veil.  Tiaras,  mardi gras beads,  a plastic ball n' chain,  bachelorette hangover kits,  disposable cameras,  and bachelorette tee shirts  are perhaps less embarrassing products to spice up the party.

If you are reading this, you have probably been bestowed the pleasure of being either the maid/matron of honor or a bridesmaid. Naturally you are probably ecstatic to be the bride's right-hand gal, but then you remember that with that honor also comes responsibilities, such as planning the bachelorette party. Have no fear -- a bachelorette party is supposed to be fun so planning it should be the same. Here's how to pull off a flawless shindig that's sure to please.

Party Style

A bachelorette party is simple, right? You get a slew of naughty ideas for how to embarrass the blushing bride and take her out for a night that she'll never forget, complete with a stripper jumping out of a giant cake in a leather thong.  Sure it sounds well and good, but what happens when you find out that the bride's mother and sister-in-law are planning to show up as well? Or what if you suddenly discover that the bride finds this an atrocious idea after you've booked the whole night down to the risque cake with male genitalia on it?

Before even thinking about strippers and other racy party plans, the first thing you need to do is sit down with the bride, say three months before the wedding. Have a chat with her about what type of party she envisions, whether it's an all out bash with boozing and boys, or if she'd rather be caught dead than seeing a man in a skimpy g-string (including her hubby to-be). Usually the bride will have discussed her expectations with the groom before talking to the maid of honor -- and if she hasn't, you might want to suggest it. This allows the couple to set boundaries for their final parties as unmarried men and women. That way the bride and groom can both avoid potentially relationship-destroying activities, all-out mortification, and other unsightly occurrences. Remember that it's okay if the soon-to-be newlyweds prefer something G-rated. The point is to have fun, and to keep things in line with what the couple wants, not what tradition says or others expect.

The Guest List

Have the bride chat with her fiancé before you devise a bachelorette party plan because the agenda may dictate who will be invited. Think about it: Her soon-to-be grandmother-in-law probably won't appreciate a night on the town, topped off with a thong-laden stripper. If the couple is into X-rated activities, then make certain their female family members are forewarned. Surely, the night is supposed to be all about the bride, but that doesn't mean you can overlook the guest list and their preferences.

Once you've got the party plans in place, it's time to get things rolling. Usually two months notice is good for a "save-the-date" style announcement. A phone call, an email, or a simple word-of-mouth announcement is sufficient. From then up until a month before the wedding, you'll need to make all the necessary arrangements. Important things to keep in mind: the number of guest, the venue size, and of course, the price range. Afterwards, you can send out formal invites, e-vites, or make calls to everyone with the details.

Finally, try and keep the guest list down to about 10 people, 20 max.

The Details

• The time and date will usually go hand in hand with the type of party you are planning. Be sure to check with the bride about the time and day that you want to have the party. Then you can verify with guests if the date is compatible with everyone's schedules.
• Weekdays, anywhere from two weeks to four days before the wedding are ideal. Avoid throwing a party too close to the wedding since those crucial days before the big event usually have the bride stressed out. Plus, you want to bride to be well-rested the week of the wedding. Throwing a big bash a few nights before isn't the best idea.
• Be sure to make arrangements and reservations well in advance. This goes for restaurants, clubs, lounges, performers, transportation (very important if you are all planning to drink a lot), lodging (especially if people are coming from out of town), spas, and any other vendor that will be involved in the process.
• Consider the budget! If you know that most people don't have an extravagant budget, when planning, try to keep the event modest so as not to unnecessarily exclude anyone who might want to participate. The more people you invite, the less everyone has to pay. However, the more lavish you want the party to be, the more the bill is going to run.
• Where is the party? Staying in? There are several advantages: no drinking and driving, the environment is intimate, it costs less, and it can be tailored precisely to the bride's wishes. Going out? The advantages include: not having to clean up after a party and there are lots of people to interact with, giving the party a very different dynamic.

The Invitations

In the invitations, make sure to include where and when the party will be. Let people know the time, day, and hour. You might also need to include directions. If the party will take place at multiple locations, be sure to include a rough itinerary of where the posse will be heading and at what time. Usually by mentioning the type of party and place where it will be held, guests will get an idea of appropriate attire. However, you will need to mention what kind of monetary compensation you expect to be contributed to the affair -- the bride does NOT pay for anything to do with the bachelorette party.

How you contact people depends on the formality of the event and the type of party planned. A simple get-together at a local dive is very different than a dinner at the bride's favorite restaurant, a spa day for 10, or a trip to Vale. Since bigger ordeals usually require that you make reservations so as to get better group rates and get everyone on the same page, you should send formal invitations well in advance. This gives people enough time to arrange their personal calendars around the event, and allows everyone to RSVP with enough time for you to iron out the details.

Themes and Party Styles

Traditional Bachelorette Craziness
Night On the Town	Drag Queens and Divas	Dancing 'til Dawn	Gambling Bash	Luxurious Lingerie Evening

Fabulous Fun Out or At Home
Party at Home	Scavenger Hunt	Karaoke Blast	Fondue Fest	Pampering Spa Day

Quality Girl Time
Weekend Ski Trip	Mini Vacation to the Beach	Laid-back Camping Trip	Formal Afternoon Tea	Day at the Vineyards

International Resources

FR: Enterrement de vie de jeune fille